In May 2024, we had the pleasure of hosting a Coliving Mastermind focused on impostor syndrome. The group gathered to support a coliver facing this challenge, bringing together the beauty of collective thinking and mutual support. Below are the key notes from the session, offering valuable insights for everyone to read through and apply.
Guests practicing active listening
The Context
Jane (pseudonym) is a software developer with three years of experience. Her first two jobs came through referrals, but after some emotionally draining life events—like breakups and moving—she feels exhausted and uncertain about her career direction. Startups? Remote work? Big tech? So many options, but no clear path.
In the tech industry, Jane explains, interviews typically involve four to five stages, including a technical interview where candidates demonstrate skills on a live project. In one previous interview, she was evaluated via Zoom by a panel of six men, which made her freeze. Unable to perform at her best, she felt her skillset locked away, unreachable, and out of her control.
The Challenge
Technical interviews are particularly stressful for Jane. As soon as they begin, she finds herself obsessing over what the interviewers might think of her, which ultimately impacts her ability to focus. This recurring fear has affected her performance in three separate interviews. She describes it as an out-of-body experience, saying,
“I see myself as a third person, like I’m not in my body.“
This cycle has led to a strong urge to avoid interviews altogether. Yet, through her peers and own reflections, Jane realises that interviewing is a skill of its own—especially in her field. To prepare, she has started practising more programming, hoping it will help her feel more confident.
What hits her the hardest, though, is the nagging feeling that she’s not suited for this industry, fueling a strong impostor syndrome. She has explored these feelings in therapy and now wants to use this mastermind session to gain a new perspective on this challenge.
The Desired Outcomes
During the mastermind session, Jane hopes to:
- Relieve some of the weight of her current emotions
- Receive reflective questions to help her process her thoughts
- Hear others’ experiences
- Learn about resources or tips for interviewing and find companies known for supportive interview processes
- Feel the support of others who understand her struggles
Clarifying Questions
Following her introduction, the group asked questions to clarify her situation, uncovering additional insights:
- Jane left her last job due to a loss of trust in management and a toxic new manager. She also wanted to reconnect with her creative, playful side.
- While in school, failure wasn’t as much of a fear; her first blackout happened during a university exam.
- She’s passionate about solving seemingly impossible problems, enjoys the continuous learning her work brings, and thrives on feeling needed.
- Known for her resilience, she is a dedicated researcher who explores different approaches to a problem and seeks input from others.
- Before she freezes, she feels mentally blocked and unable to focus, though she isn’t sure how to “unfreeze” herself.
Coliving event session
Mastermind Outcomes
Here are some key insights from the group’s discussion:
- Run the “What Happens Next?” Exercise: When faced with strong fears, ask yourself, “If I don’t get this job, what happens next?” Continue this line of questioning down to the worst-case scenario, then work your way back up. This helps diffuse fears and offers perspective.
- List Your Strengths: Write down your strengths and review them as needed—especially before interviews.
- Use Problem-Solving Skills on This Challenge: Approach interviews as you would a problem to solve. By strategizing, you stay in control of the process, using one of your core strengths to your advantage.
- Be Honest with Interviewers: Consider sharing your anxieties with the interviewers before the process begins. Let them know you’re skilled but find interviews stressful. This transparency can reveal how supportive they are and can help you gauge their company culture.
- See Interviews Objectively: Remember, interviews don’t define your worth; they are just part of the process. Remind yourself of this to reduce anxiety.
Participants engaged respectfully, sharing personal insights and experiences that fostered a safe, supportive environment. A key theme that emerged was the importance of female representation in tech, as women in the group related to Jane’s challenges. Programs like She Codes were mentioned, underscoring the male-dominated nature of the industry.
Conclusions
The session was rich with meaningful insights and connections. Many in the group empathised with Jane’s experience, having dealt with similar feelings in various stages of their careers. With Jane’s professional therapy groundwork already in place, the mastermind focused on offering the emotional release, understanding, and fresh perspectives she needed.
Masterminds are invaluable for offering new points of view on both personal and professional challenges, as this session demonstrated. If you’re interested in Sun and Co.’s approach to work-life integration, check out our article, Why We Don’t Like The Term Work-Life Balance (And You Shouldn’t Either).
In a world where society often defines success narrowly, impostor syndrome is an increasingly common experience. This article shares seven effective strategies to manage and, hopefully, overcome it for good. When impostor syndrome creeps in, our confidence may need a boost. Try these journaling prompts for confidence-building—whether you’re new to journaling or looking to deepen your practice.
A special thanks to Jane for opening up and to all who participated for listening, sharing, and connecting. To learn more about Sun and Co. Masterminds, read our article Coliving Mastermind: The Beauty of Collective Thinking.
Happy Sun and Co. colivers
